[ aquarius records

THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.

SORRY.

Those heavier (and angstier) than thou sludge dooooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooom lordz Khanate may have called it quits, but thanks to the aptly named aRCHIVE label, their fans still have some lost, low-end transmissions from beyond the grave heading their way. This one was previously released as a tour-only cd-r limited to fewer than 75 copies, but is now available (for the moment!) as a remastered cd pressing in an edition of 1000 copies, with new layout, tri-fold cover, vellum obi -- all the expected excellent design for which both Khanate's Stephen O'Malley and the aRCHIVE label are known -- and comes sealed in one of those silvery metallic plastic "static shield" bags. The three long tracks here, "Fields", "Pieces Of Quiet", and "Under Rotting Sky", were recorded live on tour in Sweden in 2004. The sound of wretched life, wretched death incarnate, extended trawls through ugly feedback and gorgeous shimmer, lumbering dirge catastrophe to the utter extreme that pretty much only Khanate has pushed it. We hope it was cathartic for them, and any listeners who didn't just run for cover, or curl up under the hot water in the bathtub with bleeding wrists... SICK AND LIMITED! Buy now and/or cry later (either way).

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DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. Khanate return with a two song teaser from our pals at Load to hold us all over until their upcoming Southern Lord full length. Khanate, for those who don't already know, are sloooooow and looooooow and heavy as fuck. Featuring two members of the late great O.L.D. (Alan Dubin, and James Plotkin), Stephen O'Malley from Sunn 0))) and Burning Witch and the drummer from Blind Idiot God, you get just what you'd expect with a pedigree like that. "Dead" is a black hole of crushing, oppressive doom metal. Trudging along at a glacial pace, decimating everything in their path, taking THE RIFF and slowing it way down, stretching it way out, laying a thick, rotting blanket of dismal sound over out heads, filling our ears with filth and muck, and slowly suffocating us. But it's soooo good. "No Joy" is a track from Khanate's first record, and here gets the remix treatment from James Plotkin. Still doomy, but way more spacious and spare, the guitar becomes less of an unstoppable force, and more of a tattered curtain, casting sinister shadows over the proceedings while the stripped down skeleton of the song is supported by a slow motion drum and bass cadence and tortured, demonic howls. Definitely the most evil thing on Load yet!

Extreme doom here folks. I mean, these four tracks (two of 'em approaching twenty minutes each) are slower and lower and uglier even than the tunes on Khanate's immense self-titled debut from two years ago! We're not saying this tops the debut (that would be difficult) but Things Viral takes the Khanate sound into a seldom-explored realm where signs of life and hope are few and far between. This is some sparse, slow, intensely creepy metal for sure. The plod of a drum, some glitchy amplifier feedback, a crushing guitar riff, bass drone...all the perfect accompaniment to the anguished rasp of vocalist Alan Dubin, who turns this record into his own personal let-it-all-out psycho-drama session. As soon as the first track "Commuted" starts, you can imagine the band, broken, bleeding, crawling across the floor of the studio, scrabbling at their instruments, Dubin clutching the microphone like it's his last link to a world of human emotion. It's harrowing, simply put. The ravings of a disturbed man put to music by Earth would be a decent description. Downer metal was never so down, and the clarity with which this was recorded belies the term sludge. Only for the brave -- leave the lights on when you listen to this, and make sure you have the suicide hotline number handy. Includes the track "Dead" previously released on vinyl only as the b-side to the "No Joy [remix]" 12".

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Khanate = slow, plodding, dark, distortion-filled, droney, dissonant DOOM, in the (sliced and bleeding) vein of Esoteric, Burning Witch, Corrupted, Earth, Boris, Eyehategod...5 looong tracks (56+ minutes total). And if you haven't heard, this new doom-metal

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Fast and furious death metal from this Finnish band featuring members of the totally amazing Finnish black metal band Horna. No black metal here though, just massive downtuned, super heavy and super fast traditional death metal ala Incantation and Morbid

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For those mourning the recent passing of creeping doom sludge lords Khanate, we've got the next best thing. In fact in some ways, it might almost be the next -better- thing. Khanate low-end technician James Plotkin suddenly jumped ship only to start up this dour little duo with Runhild Gammelsaeter, the Nordic goddess you might remember as the vocalist for bleak black/doom metal outfit Thorr's Hammer. On first listen, Khlyst sounds remarkably like Khanate, huge sluggish low end doom, a thick glacial sludgey plod, while over the top a shrieking, impossibly guttural mewling howl, like a demon clearing her throat or a hysterical cheerleader possessed by the devil and spewing impossible foulness. But even at their most Khanate, Khlyst ends up sounding just a whole lot weirder. Instead of downtuned riffage, the guitars are twisted and processed into strange slippery licks, drenched in chorus and phaser, like some sort of alien guitar synth, sputtering and stumbling, a jagged series of noodly little six string blasts, fragmented metallic chunks, over ultra dense tangles of free jazz drum splatter, everything thick with buzzy guitars and ominous ambience. A super freaked out, utterly demented psychedelic doom sludge stretched and twisted into a sputtering spastic black buzz, pelted with bits of prog and wrapped in thick layers of damaged drone. Elsewhere, the duo, stretch out into hauntingly blissful soundscapes constructed from processed vocals, swirling billows of reverb, echoey guitar shimmer, almost like a creepier Grouper. Drifty and hauntingly lovely. And sometimes the rhythmic furor builds into a vortex of impossibly dense drumming, over thick swaths of low end drone, with growling panting Diamanda-like vocalisations struggle breathlessly over the top. Like some sort of demonic sludge jazz drum solo torture session. Imagine weirdo black metallers Rehtaf Ruo crossed with UK doomlords Moss, featuring Buddy Rich and Rashied Ali on dueling drums, and a vocalist one part Bathtub Shitter, one part Kevin Sharp from Brutal Truth and one part Dani Filth from Cradle Of Filth, the whole thing recorded by Lustmord. Bleak and blackened, squirming and slithery, shivering and stumbling. An epic and deranged slab of ultra-ambient-doom-prog-drone-sludge splendor.

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Just got these in today, list day, four new aRCHIVE dvd titles (Ai Aso, Mick Barr, Khlyst, and Suishou No Fune). So, we haven't had a chance to watch 'em yet but since they're limited and all we figured you'd rather we just went ahead and listed 'em now rather than waiting 2 weeks. And all four artists are pretty cool after all. This one's a live set (possibly the only one ever) of sheer DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM from James Plotkin's post-Khanate outfit, Khlyst, which also features Nordic maiden/extreme vokillist Runhild Gammelsaeter of Thorr's Hammer fame. It's pro shot, with multiple cameras, at a CMJ Hydra Head showcase gig in 2006. Again, we haven't seen it, but we're looking forward to what must have been a very very heavy evening's entertainment. Lovely packaging, as you'd expect from aRCHIVE, with a matte paper cardstock fold-over featuring gorgeous, disturbing paintings by Stephen Kasner, with text silkscreened in metallic ink. The dvd has a handstamped black sleeve of its own inside the folder, which itself is nestled in a PVC bag. Nice. Limited, OF COURSE, to 500 copies!!!

We're huge fans of Norwegian black metallers Khold, who we've described in the past as a black metal Nirvana, which while perhaps simplifying it a bit too much, does essentially get at the root of their sound. The weird thing is we thought Khold were dead and gone. Before Khold were Khold, they were an equally kick ass, but sonically quite different outfit called Tulus. After several records Tulus got an image overhaul as well as a sonic one, and become Khold, their new sound much more, hence the black metal Nirvana reference, and their look, well as we've mentioned in past reviews, probably the coolest looking frontman we've seen, wearing some sort of black furry skirt, a black turtleneck, then face painted black just up to his nose, so it looks like some black entity is creeping up his body, the top half of his bald head painted white. The effect is quite striking. Anyway, we reviewed the most recent Tulus record a while back, assuming Khold were on hold, but it seems both bands can exist simultaneously, all the better for us!! So Khold is back, and their sound is pretty similar, the riffs simple and almost groovy, the tempos a slow pounding chug for the most part, barring the occasional almost blast, the vocals a raspy howl, the drums simple and stripped down, the bass a deep throb, in fact the more Khold progress it's hard to say what even makes them black metal anymore beyond their pedigree. This new disc sound almost more punk than metal, some sort of crusty, metallic garage punk, albeit with a wicked huge percussion. The hooks aren't as obvious this time around, which on the one hand is a bit of a bummer, but on the other makes this record sound a lit meaner, and harder, and well, a bit more punk. Although repeated listens have definitely revealed some hidden killer hooks that stick in your head like crazy: the tangled little angular bridge in "Forrykt", the strange melodic almost post-rock-isms of "Rekviem". And weirdly enough the more we listen, the more the vocals start reminding us of Killdozer, who we LOVE. And the bottom line with any metal record, black or otherwise, is that it's all about the riffs, and the riffs here KILL. This is probably not the kind of record that will appeal to most black metallers, way too groovy and punky, and not enough buzz or blast, but for the rest of you, who might be into some slightly blackened, heavy as fuck, catchy, punky metallic rock, Khold might be right up your alley.

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Whenever anyone asks us what Khold sounds like, we often tell them, well, a bit like a black metal Nirvana. Which is not entirely accurate and maybe not totally fair, but it definitely is the most succinct description we can come up with, and it does at least give you a rough idea of where this Norwegian outfit's sound lies. Or at least how it sounds to us. A surprising amount of 'groove' and catchy riffery for such a grim black metal band. Lurching swaying midtempos, impossibly catchy melodies, plenty of frosty buzz, but the occasional hook that just kicks your head in and makes you want to throw on a flannel and some corpse paint and bang your head like mad. A couple tracks sound like they could have been your favorite Sub Pop singles of the month. Had they existed they would have surely occupied THE prized position in your record collection (the most likely contender on Krek is track three: "Innestengt I Eikekiste"). The whole record sounds like the meanest, heaviest songs on Bleach, painted black, set afire, and set hurtling through the forest and straight to hell. Khold do for black metal what Nirvana did for pop, turning it inside out and taking all the most unlikely elements, and making them sound perfect, like they could never have been any other way. Which is even more impressive in the case of Khold, as BM tends to be a lot more stodgy and resistant to such un-grim concepts as catchiness and hooks and groove. And of course, let's not forget Khold frontman Gard, who as we have mentioned before, puts pretty much all other corspepainted metal dudes to shame with his bulky fuzzy black cloaked visage, his half black face, glowing white pate, and the blackened tendrils creeping up the side of his head as if some black beast from hell is slowly enveloping his body. So awesome.

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This is easily my favorite metal record this year (sez Andee) along with the Crest of Darkness, and the Thorns record. Like the Thorns record, Khold has a very clinical, wintery feel, but the sound has much more in common with Burzum. Fierce and buzzing,

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The first riff on this record is a killer. It's THE riff. The kind of riff bands spend their whole life trying to come up with. Huge and catchy and churning and heavy. The best riff that should have been on Nirvana's Bleach. That good. And if you weren't paying attention you might forget that what you were listening to was a grim and frosty Norwegian black metal record. Fear not, you only have to wait a minute or two before the familiar strains of buzzing thrashy black metal comes rampaging through your speakers. And such is the joy of Khold. Burzumic black metal mayhem one second, grooving riffy grunge the next. That's right. I said grunge AND groove. What's that sort of stuff have to do with black metal? Well, normally nothing, but that's what makes Khold so fucking good. Without their unlikely grooviness and knack for super catchy riffs, they would just be your run of the mill, generic (albeit kick ass) black metal band. But add that component and you've got something pretty weird and definitely unique. Obviously the true, elite, cult black metal underground hate Khold, but so what? This stuff is so awesome. The minute you're sort of black metalled out, the band shifts gears and unfurls a lazy Kyuss/Nirvana style fuzzed out riff. And by the same token if you are hankering for something more hard and heavy, wait a few minutes and you'll be bulldozed by some brutal blastbeats and buzzsaw guitaring. Plus the vocalist has the coolest corpsepaint we've ever seen. Top half of his head is white, eyes blacked out, but the bottom half of his head is all black, and scarred and dirty and -really- dead looking. Plus live, he wears huge fur pants and a black turtleneck that makes him look like a huge blackwraith with just the top of his skull showing!

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Album number two from these grim purveyors of Nordic darkness. The first Khold record was one of Andee's favorite records of last year, so our expectations were high for this one, and 'Phantom' did not diappoint. But it did surprise, however -- more on that

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As we've mentioned in a few other black metal reviews, at first glance, it's easy to be knocked out by these incredible scenes in places like Russia and the Ukraine, but upon closer inspection, it becomes obvious, that it's the same 5 or 6 guys in each scene making up all of those different bands. Sometimes it's even the exact same members, with just a new name and a different sound. Still pretty impressive for sure, just in a different way. So here we have Ukrainian black metallers Khors, who among their ranks, include various members of other Ukrainian groups you most likely recognize, like Nokturnal Mortum, Astrofaes and Hate Forest. And while Khors' sound invariably shares some similarities with the various members' other outfits, as well as fellow Ukrainian black metal horde Drudkh, the sound here is definitely unique, taking midtempo black buzz, and mixing it with some seriously melodic more straight forward rock, lots of space-y atmosphere, and super tripped out almost Pink Floyd-like keyboards. It's that melodic aspect, and the keyboards, that give Khors a definitely whatthefuck vibe. The record begins with a two minute intro, all shimmery keyboards, and super tight, almost jazzy drumming, even when the guitars come in, the sound is weirdly poppy, with some almost bluesy leads, before slipping into the first track, a lurching black metal pound, with churning riffs, and howled vokills, wild guitar trills, but also sparkling sheets of tinkling keyboards, rife with folky melodies, the whole thing epic and majestic, especially when the band lock into the instrumental jam parts, guitar leads evoke some eighties movie montage, before slipping back into something more black or in the case of the next track something even more, um, cheesy? But not in a bad way. Skittery drums beneath soft synths, whispered vox, and some almost Chariots Of Fire sounding piano. Seconds later, the band is blasting through a frosty field of buzzing guitars wrapped around furious blast beats, and we're back in serious black metal territory, but hold up, Khors shift gears again, and slip into something a bit more Journey. Or Europe even. Super slick sounding studio hard rock from the eighties, which on its own might sound unappealing, but then drape some super distorted buzzy guitars and growled hellish vocals over the top and we're into something definitely bizarre and WAY unexpected. The PURE metal parts here will definitely appeal to folks into the Ukrainian sound (Nokturnal Mortum, Hate Forest, Drudkh), but it's pretty twisted, and weird mix, and least for the grim and troo, and at times, not even remotely metal, which might make this more appropriate for the aQ metalheads who tend to be up for the stranger stuff. Although to be fair, there's nothing truly fucked up and weird here, it's just the combination of black buzz and smooth jam that makes this so strange, and thus, so awesome!

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Copper Lock Hell is the first we've heard from this UK dronedirgedoom duo, who seem to have found the perfect home on Cold Spring, their bleak, rumbling industrialisms, paired with heaving, droned out SUNNO)))-like heaviness. Churning dirges with bellowed vokills, driven by hellish machine like rhythms, plodding sprawls of clatter and hiss, grind and crunch, all set amidst a harrowing landscape of densely layered sonics, swirls of processed vox, layered tones, and swirling psychedelic squalls, a churning, noise drenched dirgery that almost sounds like Skullflower doing doom metal maybe, or an old Godflesh record spinning in slow motion. Grinding, and corrosive, but strangely hypnotic, the tracks often shed the rhythms, leaving just cascades of crumbling distortion, wound in fields of mysterious vox, that give some of the tracks an almost alien world music vibe. There are also strangely folky bits, that seems well out of place until they're subsumed by an avalanche of oozing black riffage, grinding an corrosive, slipping into serious Moss / Bunkur ultra-dooooooooom territory for sure. But even at its most bleak, Khost will introduce some unlikely element, that transforms the sound into something weirdly beautiful, whether it's some buried melody, some fractured rhythm, fluttering flute surfacing mid metallic churn, it makes for super nuanced listening. Sure if you're just in it for the heavy noisiness and the blackened crush, odds are you won't be disappointed, but that sound is much more blurry and murky than most, the tracks here blackened psychedelic creeps, wrapped in crumbling buzz, lumbering and lurching, and pocked with all manner of sampled sounds, if you peeled away the distortion, and dialed back the vokills, you'd suddenly have something like a more malevolent Philip Jeck or a more grim, blackened Ghedalia Tazartes. High praise perhaps, but for what we initially took for just another (admittedly kick ass) slab of industrial metal/doom crush, has revealed itself to be something infinitely more nuanced, and delivers some super satisfying deep listening, fusing ultra abject downer doom with psychedelic avant soundscapery, into some impossibly epic, avant blacknoise psychdoom deathdrone majesty. FYI, there's a guest appearance on here from Eugene Robinson of Oxbow.

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This is definitely one of my favorite metal records from the '80s (and now Allan's too even though he hadn't heard it until a few years ago). And one of the few that has actually held up pretty well, all things considered. Sure it's cheesy, I mean, c'mon,

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Huh? Aside from the fact that both artists have numbers in their names, this seems like quite the strange bedfellows sort of team up. The electronic mish mash mayhem of Kid 606 on one side of the 12" colored (pink or blue) vinyl, the bludgeoning stoner rock instrumentals of the Boston duo known as 5ive (or, to use their new, full name, 5ive's Continuum Research Project). Weird, eh? And that's just the idea. Of course, if you've heard the 2XH vs. HHR Vol. 1 compilation, which featured a bunch of grind/doom bands as well as drone and electronic acts (including the ubiquitous Kid 606) you know that the Hydra Head/Tortuga guys have an affinity for the Kid's brand of electronic fuckery in addition to sheer metallic heaviness. Hey, just like us! So, maybe it all makes sense. The two tracks from 5ive are in their usual awesomely sludgey bass and drums style, excellent. Then on the flip, there's three from Kid 606, the first of which features processed, distorted solo guitar and loops, almost as if he's making an effort to fit in with 5ive. Very cool actually. His next track is some Casio-beat goofiness, but that's then followed by a third track again with guitar, but spacier and more psychedelic. All in all, the Kid's tracks here are a lot more subdued and 'musical' than we expected.

A split release between Kilara (heavy, slugde rock from Virginia sorta like Eyehategod, but with an unhealthy hillbilly country obsession) and Hellchild (Japanese strangled hardcore who were previously on Howling Bull and here covers Venom).

Full length number two from these Swedish necro black metallers, featuring members of Bestial Mockery, Devil Lee Rot, Diabolicum, Necroplasma and Church Bizarre, so you pretty much have an idea of what you're in for. But before we get to the grim sounds within, let's talk about the kick ass cover art. From the amazing bat winged Kill logo, to the awesome high school binder cover drawing of a priest impaled on an inverted cross (drawn by The Being, from Dutch black metallers Haatstrijd), and of course the record is called Inverted Funeral, the cover gorgeously printed in a distressed sepia toned ink on thick textured paper, making the drawing look like it could have come from some ancient, -demonic- binder instead.� Inside, it's much as you might expect, or hope, a black world of grim buzz, frosty and cold, harsh thrashing primitive and raw old school black metal. Pounding drums, buzzing black riffage, bestial vocals, and lots of bass (weird for black metal bands where the bass is usually lost in the swirls of buzz and blast), huge thick swaths of low end, with the bass even taking up the main riff on a few tracks. Nothing here for the casual black metal traveller, or curious lookieloo, so beware posers, this is for the troo, the kvlt, the grim, fans of Darkthrone, Beherit, Ildjarn and other primitive black thrashers... Awesome.�

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This is it, far as I'm concerned. The only record I think tops the mighty Pig Destroyer's masterpiece "Terrifyer" this year. This is absolute technical grind perfection, and one of the fastest and most intense 15 minutes of music ever committed to tape. No song on here breaks the hundred-second mark and yet you feel utterly beaten by disc's end -- the pace is relentless, the riffs ever-changing and the intensity exhausting as this Texas quartet blaze through 11 tracks of politically-charged grind. Imagine a cross between the manic controlled chaos of classic Brutal Truth and the technical off-time wizardry of Cryptopsy and then speed everything up tenfold and you're beginning to approach the full-on assault that this band delivers. Individual playing is just stunning here -- the singer is positively monstrous, sounding like a dead ringer for Brutal Truth's Kevin Sharp and espousing refreshingly thoughtful and original political lyrics on such topics as the Russian mafia, economics, JFK conspiracy theories and even food dyes. The guitars are razor-sharp -- it makes sense that Jody of criminally-underrated tech-metal juggernauts Kalibas was in the band for a while -- both bands demand a proficiency from their players that belie the simplicity usually associated with genre. And then there's the drumming! You knew this was coming -- this guy is fucking insane! Some of the fastest playing ever. On some songs, the blast beat is the SLOW part, I shit you not. For anyone even remotely interested in metal and grind, I simply can not recommend this record enough. Once you allow the wash of noise to bury you into submission, there's a good amount of complexity and memorable moments to wrap your head around. But really the music presented here far surpasses the constraints of the usual metal and grind conventions and summates to a sublime aural ferocity that pushes the very limits of human playing abilities. Yes, it's that good.

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When we first heard about this band we though they were called Kill WHITEY Dead which seemed like a pretty provocative name. And initially when we realized it was actually Killwhitneydead, we were a little bummed. Yet another stupid band name. But after listening to this record, a furious grind metal hate letter, presumably to a woman named Whitney, it all makes sense. The fury and bile of a man scorned, channelled into one of the meanest heaviest records we've heard in a while. Imagine one of the best metal/grind bands you've ever heard, unbelievably complex, stop start arrangements, weird Iron Maiden-y guitar melodies, huge chugging riffery, with totally almost black metallish demonic vocals, and blasts of grinding melodic hard rock, leads all over the place, almost like some eighties metal band strapped into the electric chair and supercharged into a flesh eating, city destroying grind metal monster. Then imagine a second vocalist, who isn't a vocalist at all but a sampler spitting out clips from every violent / weird / cool movie from the last 20 years. But not just like samples over music, KWD take samples and literally use them like another vocalist, with the music edited and the songs written and arranged around the movie clips. It's been done in the past, but never so perfectly. Misanthropic, and pummelling and chillingly hateful. If I was Whitney I'd actually be pretty flattered that I was able to illicit the kind of passion it must have taken to birth this kind of musical monster. The clips are from Unfaithful, Buffalo 66, Harry Potter, Platoon, Wall Street, Black Rain, Natural Born Killers, Se7en, Lord Of The Rings, Memento, Aliens, Road To Perdition, The Longest Yard, House Of 1000 Corpses, Kiss The Girls, The Crow, Tenacious D, The Breakfast Club, The Usual Suspects and about a million more. The insane thing is they actually list them all and got permission to use every single one of them. Wow.

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Man, this is one of those records that just makes you feel dirty. We explained all this in a previous review, but it probably bears repeating. Initially we thought this band was called Kill WHITEY Dead. Pretty cool name. The we discovered that in fact the band was called Kill WHITNEY Dead. Whitney? Huh? Not so cool. Until we realized that the whole record was just a massive vitriolic hate letter from the band to a despised ex-lover. Who we shall call Whitney. Then it made a lot more sense, and was way more creepy and intense. Hateful (but funny) song titles, punishing, ultra heavy, grinding metalcore, but the key to KWD's sound is their use of samples. There are plenty of vocals, howled gutteral death metal growls, but the message is in the choice of samples. And KWD don't just use samples here and there. No, samples are in and around EVERY song. Every break, or stop start riff (and there are tons) is filled with some sample, from some movie, invariably a terrified woman, or an angry angry man. Quite fucked up and intense. But the samples are perfect, as if instead of two vocalists, they have one live vocalist and one sampled vocalist. Hundreds of samples from movies like Apocalypse Now, The Ring, Murder By Numbers, Alien 3, Magnolia, Full Metal Jacket, Wet Hot American Summer, The Abyss, Point Break, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Punch Drunk Love, Planet Of The Apes, Robocop, European Vacation, To Live And Die In L.A., American Psycho, Legend, Rushmore, Red Dawn and tons more. The insane thing is they got permission for ALL of them. Crazy, So what we've got here is possibly one of the heaviest, meanest, most fucked up and certainly most sample heavy grind metal records in a long long while. For a short while, So Pretty So Plastic also includes a bonus remix disc. I know, we're just as sick of remix discs as you, but this one is different. And totally brilliant. The remix disc is essentially the EXACT same record. No wait, not even essentially, it IS the same record, the only difference being that ALL OF THE SAMPLES ARE DIFFERENT! So fucking nuts, Same places, same lengths, but completely different samples. Wow! We already thought these guys were movie nerd / tech geeks before, but the bonus disc really seals the deal! Plus the bonus disc is packaged perfectly to look like a KMFDM record, only the band is called KWDMF (Killwhitneydead motherfucker?)!

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Super limited new lp from this free form blackened doom-drone-noise combo, two sidelong sprawls of twisted improvised blacknoise, each track awesomely and hilariously titled ("Satan Fe" and "Denvhorr"), and featuring at least one member of LA black metal horde Harassor, but this is far from black metal, there is most definitely a blackness, but the sound Kilt conjures up is more like droned our power electronics, lush and layered but corrosive and chaotic, churning low end burbles beneath grinding sheets of burnished white noise, streaks of feedback wrapped around heaving swells of super distorted thrum, blasts of super blown out buzz that sound almost like DHR beats recontextualized, clouds of cymbal shimmer, the sound woozy and warped, slipping from hushed drift to roiling speaker melting ferocity. There seem to be vocals too, chant like, but before they can form they seem to melt into the sounds around them. The sound is also fairly dynamic, with some of the low end peeling away, and leaving blasts of keening high end, or swirling fields of static, even a weird whistling melody at one point, or a wheezing chordal thrum, but even at its most ferocious, for a 'noise' record, it's surprisingly listenable, the textures and fractured melodies, the tone and timbre, not as harsh as it might seem at first blush, it's pretty tranced out and mesmeric. The second side starts out with a blast of fractured sound, jagged jump cuts and blasts of noise, before settling into a warm swirl of muted crunch and blurred rumble, and from there on out, the sound drifts from washed out crackly drift, to face melting howl, and back again, seeming to attain a sort of sonic equilibrium right in the middle, making this more mesmerizing than brutal, and we're far from being proponents of harsh noise, but this is the sort of sculpted noise, the sort of blown out power electronics and textured blacknoise dronemusic that we can't seem to get enough of. LIMITED TO 120 COPIES!! Each in a swank hand silk-screened cover.

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THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.

SORRY. Long time readers of the aQ list no doubt remember Tetuzi Akiyama's Don't Forget To Boogie record, ostensibly, as the title suggests, a boogie rock record, but in reality, a twisted droned out hypnotic psychedelic minimal psych record, with the boogie elements stripped down to a single riff, then drenched in distortion and repeated over and over and over, creating super mesmerizing fields of layered repetition a la Reich or Riley, it quickly became a bigtime aQ favorite. This debut lp from one man 'boogie' outfit King Blood, approaches boogie rock in a similarly oblique fashion, taking those boogie riffs and fucking them up big time. Not quite as minimal as Akiyama's opus, Eyewash Silver adds drums, and what sounds like multiple layers of guitars, not to mention WAY more distortion, a gloriously blown out chunk of experimental abstract minimal boogienoise weirdness. Opener "Black Money" is probably the most traditionally song-y, a loping lumbering midtempo groove, a main riff locked tight and looped over a similarly tight barely there rhythm, but then all around it, guitars howl and grind, churn and crunch, loads of distortion and tangled melodies, swirling clouds of corrosive sound wrapped around that fantastically incessant groove, gradually growing more and more explosive, before the noise guitars nearly swallow up the boogie riff completely. "End Of A Primitive" sounds like a Stooges sample dipped in distortion and left outside to crumble and decay before being brought back in and recorded onto some 20 year old 2" tape that had been stored in a wet basement. Another groovy riff, multiple guitar lines, the song gradually shifting, but so gradually, it's easy to get totally mesmerized. "Grimhaven" and "Grimhaven (A Return)" are all twang flecked dirge, like an echo drenched Earth, via the desert rock of Scenic, but again way more minimal, a single riff, a single part, looped and locked and totally hypnotic, while much of the melody is supplied by the bassline which is fluid and woozy, drifting beneath the song's core hypnodirge. "Poison In Jest" is the killer here, super short at 2+ minutes, but an insanely super distorted chunk of garage dirge minimalism, Stooges riff and about ten tons of crumbling super blown out distortion. The other songs follow a similar path, taking simple riffs and stretching them way out, adding layer after layer of thrum and howl and fuzz and buzz, occasionally letting the sounds slip into full of in-the-red freakout, but just as often, keeping them just this side of total chaos, the result, a gloriously hypnotic bit of riffy mesmer. SUPER LIMITED, ONLY 100 COPIES, we got 12 or 13, and those are all we'll ever get. Way recommended for folks into droney, dirgey, hypnotic heaviness, which should most definitely be most of you!

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No, not the '80s hair metal band led by drummer Carmine Appice!! This King Cobra is a brand new band formed by drummer Rachel Carns of The Need (also ex-Kicking Giant), bassist Tara Jane O'Neil (Rodan, Retsin, The Sonora Pine, and solo y'know), and a third party named Kwo on guitar. There is, however, a distinct metal element to be found here as you'd expect from The Need connection. I guarantee you that people will be headbanging and making the devil sign at their shows! This trio's sound is fat and heavy yet sinewy, additionally incorporating bombastic electric organ, some wild horns, and even wilder vocals. You'll hear how they distort metal, new wave, prog, and punk into their own supercharged sonic brew as they grind, gallop and gear-shift their way through six tracks in eighteen minutes. Short this may be but The King Cobra pack a lot of music into that span of time! We're definitely looking forward to a future full-length!

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His Satanic Majesty returns with another of his trademark concept albums, this one telling a story based around an alternate version of the life of Jesus, one in which he does not die upon the cross... Good stuff, with more high King Diamond screams than ever before, and plenty of classic Andy La Rocque guitarwork.

It's certainly cheesy how Metal Blade put the current King Diamond logo on the front of this archival recording, and the title is kinda lame too, but on the other hand it turns out to be cool that they released this in the first place, as these are some

RealAudio clip: Locked Up In The Snow

You'd think it would be easy to write reviews of records you love, but it's not, not always anyway. This band, though, makes the task easier, 'cause maybe we can just say a few key words: JAPAN. DOOM. PSYCH. CRAZY. Uh... is that doing the trick? Tokyo trio King Goblin, who describe themselves as a "progressive space psychedelic death rock band", definitely have that "anything goes", totally WTF?! Japanese thing going for 'em, mixing up prog and punk and funk and metal and noise whatever else they want, you know what we mean if you have albums by bands like Boredoms, Melt Banana, Children Coup D'Etat, Space Streakings, Omoide Hatoba, Green Milk From The Planet Orange, and others of that ilk in your collection. Specifically, though, the Japanese bands that King Goblin most especially make us think of are CSSO, Solar Anus, and Sigh (circa Imaginary Sonicscape). Somehow melding gonzo grind and druggy doom, plodding heaviness and catchy grooves, the nine strange songs here bouncing from spaced out acid rock to lumbering funk, with rubbery bass, squiggly guitar, gruff guttural vocals, and, as it says here, "hand craps" (sorry if it's not PC to chuckle over that particular credit in the cd booklet!). Imagine if retro-disco-doomsters Cathedral got even weirder than they already are now, turned Japanese, and went no wave... that might approximate the dizzying extreme entertainment offered up by King Goblin. Also, how can songs with titles like "Boiled Again (Born To Ride)" and "Motordead" not be entertaining? This disc, their debut, actually dates from 2007, but we only discovered 'em recently, and got some copies directly from Japan as quick as we could. They're working on a new album, to be entitled Cryptozoology, but unfortunately the guitarist of King Goblin is currently suffering from some unspecified, serious illness, so that's delaying things. Hopefully he gets better soon!! However, a couple of the King Goblin guys are also in wicked sick grindcore band called AKBK, who have a brand new album out that smokes, so look out for us to list that, soon!

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Kristinia Esfandiari formerly of SF shoegazers Whirr, delivers a dark brooding gem of introspective heaviness, a mini-songsuite that unfurls lugubriously, and blossoms into a haunting sprawl of crushing, slo-mo metallic, torchsong miserablism. Imagine some twisted fusion of PJ harvey and SUNNO))). Churning washes of crumbling distortion and tarpit riffage drift grimly through billowing clouds of dense layered thrum, roiling blackened backdrops for Esfandiari's throaty, bewitching vox. The sonic heft matched by the lyrical themes of family and religion, and the suffering borne of both. A darkly delicate downer pop dirgery, flecked with keening, melancholic melodies crafted into smoldering sonic arcs, and all wound up into blurred hazy drifts, morose, moody, mournful and melancholy. With the sound very reminiscent of Whirr, but like that groups blissed out metalgaze slowed way down, stretched out into languorous, undulating fields of dreamy, dour, doom-drift shimmer. "Candescent Soul" begins a whispered drumless creep, before transforming into a heart wrenching slow motion sonic pummel, a heart crushing deathmarch dirge reminiscent of some lost Katatonia B-side via nineties slowcore. "Burn" follows a similar sonic template, blurred riffs spread out into a hazy landscape of swoonsome buzz and throb, driven by a simple caveman pound, before exploding into some seriously dense introspective crush, spidery tendrils of strange distorted electronics tangled up beneath Esfandiari's increasingly passionate and dramatic vocals. A shoegaze doom that bleeds into closer "King Of Swords", a loping distorted ballad that builds into a brooding slow build bombastic, swirling and psychedelic, almost like a female fronted, shoegaze Afghan Whigs, tortured, heart-on-sleeve indie pop recast as something darkly metallic, that somehow remains woozy, washed out, wasted, and dreamily despondent.

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When you think Chewy, do you think about taffy, or gum, or calamari? Or do those nerd genes kick in and send you in a completely different direction envisioning a seven foot tall hairy beast called Chewbacca? Well, if you live in SF, when you think Chewy, you more than likely think metal, and maybe country, oh and punk rock, and glam rock, or at the very least you think of the kick ass drumming of Mr. Chewy Marzolo. Most of you would know Chewy as the drummer for the mighty Hammers Of Misfortune, SF's killer black / true / opera metal kings! But Chewy has been tearing up a storm here in SF for well over a decade (most of the time with Hammers Of Misfortune head honcho John Cobbett right there by his side). Recently, Chewy celebrated his birthday by playing a show, where almost ALL of his bands played, in a row! Phew. To commemorate the occasion, there was this little two disc 'best of Chewy' set, covering all of his musical exploits over the last 15 years. From the majestic metal opera that is Hammers Of Misfortune, to the thrashy metal of Bay Area legends Osgood Slaughter, to the bizarre, epic sci-fi metal of Thunderchimp, to the sleazy glam rock of Pantz Noyzee, to the wild bluegrass of The Big Meat Combo, to the desert-y twang of King City. Tons of never before released stuff, most of it really amazing. Whether you know Chewy or not, these two discs are jam packed with some amazing music, from metal to country, silly to serious, and everywhere in between.

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We can't really think of anything that more symbolizes our musical generation than the four Kiss solo records released way back in 1978. Well, okay, maybe if we tried we could think of a few things, BUT C'MON!!! KISS!!! ACE, PAUL, GENE and PETER!! Sure bands do solo records all the time. But it was never more of a production than when the biggest band in the world decided to simultaneously release 4 solo records, each adorned with a killer airbrushed painting of the artist, in full Kiss makeup and backlit with different colors. This was a huge deal when it happened, and while the records didn't sell nearly as well as the worst selling Kiss record, they still became instantly iconic and most folks we know, owned 'em, and listened to 'em and many of those same folks hung the covers on their walls!! Hell, even sludge masters the Melvins did their own version, even going so far as to emulate the original cheesy cover paintings. But now they are available as PICTURE DISCS!!! Holy shit!!! If there was ever a set of records more ripe for picture disc immortalization we sure as shit can't think of any. So the real question is which one to buy. C'mon. As if there was any other answer, ALL OF THEM. Seriously, what kind of doofus would only want one. They are a set. One at a time is okay, but you are gonna NEED all four. They have been on the wall at Aquarius facing the counter since they were released and they look SOOOO badass all in a row. Worth building a little Kiss shelf in your bedroom just to display these beauties for sure! So Ace's solo record is pretty much univerally accepted as the best of the four. Pretty heavy and catchy, it definitely proved that maybe Ace and Gene could have let him write more songs for Kiss. "New York Groove" was an actual hit. But there were some killer hard rockers on there: "Rip It Out", "Snow Blind"... Definitely the only one of the four solo records that got heavy play (or any play at all actually). But who cares? You know you need all four!

Those of you who have been reading our New Arrivals list carefully for the past month know that I (Allan) have embarked upon a quixotic little project, reviewing one old KISS album per list. Why? Dunno. I guess 'cause Kiss rooooooooool. So, so far I've done write ups on two of the more kwestionable Kiss platters of the make up era, the disco inflected (infested?) Dynasty (1979) and the Styx-ish concept album Music From The Elder (1980). Go back and read about 'em if you didn't, we'd be happy to sell a few more of those...any of those. This time 'round, however, I thought it best to feature a maybe more acclaimed, essential Kiss album. I've chosen... Destroyer! From the Bicentennial year of 1976, their fourth studio album, coming after in-concert classic Alive!, Destroyer is one of the biggest Kiss successes ever. In part 'cause of drummer Peter Criss' surprise hit ballad, "Beth". But you're not gonna buy this for "Beth" (probably). You're gonna get it for the heavier fare here, such classics as "Detroit Rock City", remarkably Sabbathy in the riff dep't, and "God Of Thunder", a song Paul wrote for Gene for obvious reasons, of course this album's most heavy metal moment. Catchy, campy party starters like "King Of The Nighttime World", "Shout It Out Loud", "Do You Love Me?" (cowritten with Kim Fowley) are all over the place here too. Along with much studio embellishment both within and between songs, album opener "Detroit Rock City" getting a sound collage intro new to you if you've only heard it on the radio before. Basically, if someone were to ask us what Kiss sounds like, we'd wouldn't hesitate to reach for Destroyer. The glammy, cartoony '70s kitsch Kiss phenomenon was about as full in effect here as anyplace else. Just check out the larger than life, band portrait on the cover. Wouldn't you want that on your lunchbox? And elementary schoolkids' older siblings could appreciate that Kiss was ready to rock hard for respect, capable of competing with the likes of Grand Funk sure enough but also doing battle in the arenas with some of the more metal acts of the era. So, Destroyer: hit ballad, hit rockers, good times all around, what more do you want? And well, heck, if we have to tell you too much about THIS album, maybe Kiss just isn't for you. C'mon nostalgia, do your thing...

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MPEG stream: Sweet Pain

All right, gonna wrap up the Kiss reviewing, for a little while anyway. Talkin' this week about not one, but THREE Kiss classics: Hotter Than Hell (1974), Dressed To Kill (1975), and Rock And Roll Over (1976). With these three reviewed, that means we will have covered all the Kiss studio albums up through 1981's Music From The Elder, except the universally loathed Unmasked... which might be for the best. (Crucial albums Alive I and II also remain to be reviewed.) I don't mean to give any of these three short shrift by doing 'em briefly all together, it's just that lengthy reviews might not really be necessary. So, to begin: Hotter Than Hell, Kiss's second album, followed up their self-titled debut with another strong collection of songs, perhaps chief among them the heavy headbanging groove of Ace's "Parasite" (later covered by Anthrax) and the majestic lecherous lament of Gene's "Goin' Blind" (later covered by the Melvins). Meanwhile, tracks like "Let Me Go, Rock And Roll", "All The Way", and the title track are ones to crank come party-time. Actually the whole record is pretty much a rockin', rollin' barn-burner, aside from the aforementioned dirgey "Goin' Blind", and also album-ender "Strange Ways", whose lyrics and metallic plod have a sinister vibe that could weird out some partygoers. Cool though! Really, nothin' in they way of weak ones here, though maybe Paul's opener "Got To Choose" will be a bit too Bad Company sounding for some. Hotter Than Hell is an accurate album title I've gotta say, though it's too bad it didn't get the production job it deserved. Next up, Kiss platter number 3, Dressed To Kill. There's a bunch of fairly poppy, finger snapping, boot-stomping hard rockers on here, Kiss again (almost) reminding us of the MC5 circa Back In The USA on opener "Room Service"... The immortal hits from this album include the Stonesy "C'mon And Love Me", mission statement "Rock And Roll All Night" (which you've probably heard a few million times too many), and "She", which lumbers a heckuva lot like BoC's "Godzilla". They go all flowery and acoustic for the first half of one song, but snap out of it in time to kick some ass ("Rock Bottom"). Incipient self-parody may be noticeable here, with groupie-themed lyrics and rock n' roll anthems making soon-to-be predictable appearances, but that's ok, some of my favorite Kiss albums later on are ALL self-parody and none the worse for it. And then we skip ahead ('cause I've already reviewed the intervening Destroyer) to Rock And Roll Over, which fits in between the big D and Love Gun as their 5th studio album. This one starts off with one of my very favorite Kiss songs EVER, "I Want You", with its deceptively pretty n' sweet melodic intro immediately bursting into godlike amps-on-11, chest-thumping heavy metal riff rock that's about as catchy as it gets. Lyrically, it's the lustful essence of Kiss. But is Paul singing romantically about a longtime love, or rather more sleazily about the blonde in the third row, center, who just caught his eye? Probably the latter. Gene's "Calling Dr. Love" was another hit here, and definitely meant for that blonde... in fact, not just her, but all the willing ladies in the audience, no doubt! What else? Peter sings an acoustic ballady number that's not too bad, "Hard Luck Woman", likely intended as this album's "Beth" (the sensitive, surprise hit he had on Destroyer, though this time, Paul wrote the song). Otherwise, not too much to say. "Take Me", "Love 'Em And Leave 'Em", "Makin' Love", "Mr. Speed", etc., it's all decent enuff Kiss stuff but nothing really stands out for me. Well, dumbest one "Ladies Room" maybe stands out, but not in a good way. But, dumb or not, Kiss knows what they're doing, and you'll be singing along to lots of Rock And Roll Over before it's over. And besides, it's got "I Want You"! Ok, with these three albums, maybe that's all the Kiss we'll be reviewing for a while. Whew! But I'll start another series of reviews of another overlooked (by AQ) band, next time...

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MPEG stream: Rock Bottom

Ok, we just realized there's not nearly enough KISS reviewed on our website. All that's there really is some weird Russian picture disc 12" versions of the Peter, Paul, Gene and Ace solo albums. Also two of the three multi-dvd volumes of video KISStory. And that's it. Well, I (Allan) am going through a bit of a Kiss phase right now, so I thought I'd start stocking and reviewing some Kiss albums, one at a time. They're cheap enough. And no, I'm not reliving my childhood, it's not a nostalgia thing, actually when I was a kid I wasn't into Kiss at all. I remember looking at elementary school classmates Kiss lunch boxes and thinking, that's meant for kids, it's way too clownish, so I'm not into it... is that the sort of snobbery that led me to work in a record store? just kidding. However, I've come around on Kiss. Now I'm a bit obsessed, and lately have been trying to build up my Kiss collection on (remastered) cd. This is the most recent one I've acquired, and it wasn't high on my list 'cause usually it's derided as one of the weakest of the Kiss albums from the original makeup era, its 1979 release finding Kiss incorporating some DISCO elements to their music, much to the chagrin of Kiss's hard rocking fanbase. Of course, that almost makes it all the more appropriate for reconsideration in today's pro-disco musical climate. And I was surprised to find out just how much I liked it! It was the first Kiss studio album to appear after those solo discs, and song-by-song it's striking how such stylistically disparate tracks co-exist, from the four Kiss members, almost as if it was a various artist collection. That's because, while not only do all four original members get songwriting credit (along with some outside helpers), all four get vocal turns as well (which, I think, only also ever happened on its 1977 predecessor Love Gun). There's three songs sung by Paul Stanley, three by Ace Frehley, two by Gene Simmons, and one Peter Criss. The album starts off with the hit single "I Was Made For Loving You" (written by Stanley, with an assist from producer Vinnie Poncia and song doctor Desmond Childs). It was one of Kiss's biggest hits, actually, and you can see why, but also why diehard fans might have been upset... total, total disco. Stanley really lets loose his inner diva! It's a pretty great song though, even with the smooth cheese factor. Supposedly Stanley wrote it to show how easy it was to write a disco song, though that doesn't explain why he needed those other guys to help with it. We could imagine a banging remix by somebody like Lindstrom being a big hit today!! Love the propulsive disco drumming (not catman Criss, but secret session replacement Anton Fig, as on most of the album). Stanley also came up with another disco-ish cut "Sure Know Something" and the heavier (but still cheesy) "Magic Touch", all of 'em catchy as heck. Gene's "Charisma" is another cool KISS-style (of course) bubblegum hard rock meets disco crossover, with groovy echoey production touches. Definitely a highlight. "X-Ray Eyes" is his other entry here, and it's always nice to hear the distinctive singing of the demonic one. Ace does a cool Stones cover ("2,000 Man") and two originals of his own, including the punkish "Hard Times". His other number "Save Your Love" is pretty garagey too. And then the sole Peter Criss cut, "Dirty Livin'", sorta explains why he wasn't in the band for that much longer. In some ways, it's all the more awesome, that the same disc featuring the most disco-ish stuff also has total punk rock on it too. I mean seriously, Ace's rough, super shitty, shouty singing on "Hard Times" (as well as the streetwise lyrics about living in the "citay", cutting school to "space our heads out" in the park) is pretty darn punk, especially when you realize it's found on three million selling album that also boasts a super polished, poppy disco hit single! So, even on one of the most maligned (next to Music From The Elder, perhaps) of the make-up era Kiss platters, I found a lot to like. I've been playing it a lot (ask anybody). Maybe it's time you should give it another chance... or, for the younger of you, a first chance... and like I said, it's cheap! I'll review some more Kiss soon, maybe The Elder, which also actually has its moments too.

MPEG stream: Charisma
MPEG stream: Hard Times
MPEG stream: I Was Made For Loving You

We can't really think of anything that more symbolizes our musical generation than the four Kiss solo records released way back in 1978. Well, okay, maybe if we tried we could think of a few things, BUT C'MON!!! KISS!!! ACE, PAUL, GENE and PETER!! Sure bands do solo records all the time. But it was never more of a production than when the biggest band in the world decided to simultaneously release 4 solo records, each adorned with a killer airbrushed painting of the artist, in full Kiss makeup and backlit with different colors. This was a huge deal when it happened, and while the records didn't sell nearly as well as the worst selling Kiss record, they still became instantly iconic and most folks we know, owned 'em, and listened to 'em and many of those same folks hung the covers on their walls!! Hell, even sludge masters the Melvins did their own version, even going so far as to emulate the original cheesy cover paintings. But now they are available as PICTURE DISCS!!! Holy shit!!! If there was ever a set of records more ripe for picture disc immortalization we sure as shit can't think of any. So the real question is which one to buy. C'mon. As if there was any other answer, ALL OF THEM. Seriously, what kind of doofus would only want one. They are a set. One at a time is okay, but you are gonna NEED all four. They have been on the wall at Aquarius facing the counter since they were released and they look SOOOO badass all in a row. Worth building a little Kiss shelf in your bedroom just to display these beauties for sure! Gene's record was the biggest surprise. We all expected some serious heaviness from THE DEMON, but instead got Beatlesy jangle, funk and DISCO!! Weird. Maybe the most listened to disc for novelty value. Featured some serious guest star power: Joe Perry from Aerosmith, Bob Seger, Rick Nielsen of Cheap Trick, Janis Ian and Donna Summer. Woah. But who cares? You know you need all four!

All right, gonna wrap up the Kiss reviewing, for a little while anyway. Talkin' this week about not one, but THREE Kiss classics: Hotter Than Hell (1974), Dressed To Kill (1975), and Rock And Roll Over (1976). With these three reviewed, that means we will have covered all the Kiss studio albums up through 1981's Music From The Elder, except the universally loathed Unmasked... which might be for the best. (Crucial albums Alive I and II also remain to be reviewed.) I don't mean to give any of these three short shrift by doing 'em briefly all together, it's just that lengthy reviews might not really be necessary. So, to begin: Hotter Than Hell, Kiss's second album, followed up their self-titled debut with another strong collection of songs, perhaps chief among them the heavy headbanging groove of Ace's "Parasite" (later covered by Anthrax) and the majestic lecherous lament of Gene's "Goin' Blind" (later covered by the Melvins). Meanwhile, tracks like "Let Me Go, Rock And Roll", "All The Way", and the title track are ones to crank come party-time. Actually the whole record is pretty much a rockin', rollin' barn-burner, aside from the aforementioned dirgey "Goin' Blind", and also album-ender "Strange Ways", whose lyrics and metallic plod have a sinister vibe that could weird out some partygoers. Cool though! Really, nothin' in they way of weak ones here, though maybe Paul's opener "Got To Choose" will be a bit too Bad Company sounding for some. Hotter Than Hell is an accurate album title I've gotta say, though it's too bad it didn't get the production job it deserved. Next up, Kiss platter number 3, Dressed To Kill. There's a bunch of fairly poppy, finger snapping, boot-stomping hard rockers on here, Kiss again (almost) reminding us of the MC5 circa Back In The USA on opener "Room Service"... The immortal hits from this album include the Stonesy "C'mon And Love Me", mission statement "Rock And Roll All Night" (which you've probably heard a few million times too many), and "She", which lumbers a heckuva lot like BoC's "Godzilla". They go all flowery and acoustic for the first half of one song, but snap out of it in time to kick some ass ("Rock Bottom"). Incipient self-parody may be noticeable here, with groupie-themed lyrics and rock n' roll anthems making soon-to-be predictable appearances, but that's ok, some of my favorite Kiss albums later on are ALL self-parody and none the worse for it. And then we skip ahead ('cause I've already reviewed the intervening Destroyer) to Rock And Roll Over, which fits in between the big D and Love Gun as their 5th studio album. This one starts off with one of my very favorite Kiss songs EVER, "I Want You", with its deceptively pretty n' sweet melodic intro immediately bursting into godlike amps-on-11, chest-thumping heavy metal riff rock that's about as catchy as it gets. Lyrically, it's the lustful essence of Kiss. But is Paul singing romantically about a longtime love, or rather more sleazily about the blonde in the third row, center, who just caught his eye? Probably the latter. Gene's "Calling Dr. Love" was another hit here, and definitely meant for that blonde... in fact, not just her, but all the willing ladies in the audience, no doubt! What else? Peter sings an acoustic ballady number that's not too bad, "Hard Luck Woman", likely intended as this album's "Beth" (the sensitive, surprise hit he had on Destroyer, though this time, Paul wrote the song). Otherwise, not too much to say. "Take Me", "Love 'Em And Leave 'Em", "Makin' Love", "Mr. Speed", etc., it's all decent enuff Kiss stuff but nothing really stands out for me. Well, dumbest one "Ladies Room" maybe stands out, but not in a good way. But, dumb or not, Kiss knows what they're doing, and you'll be singing along to lots of Rock And Roll Over before it's over. And besides, it's got "I Want You"! Ok, with these three albums, maybe that's all the Kiss we'll be reviewing for a while. Whew! But I'll start another series of reviews of another overlooked (by AQ) band, next time...

MPEG stream: Parasite
MPEG stream: Watchin' You

Finally, volume two in what seems to be an ongoing series of amazing archival dvd releases from "the hottest band in the world", Kiss, and as awesome as this set is, and it is, we're sort of hoping it's the last, cuz it spans the years 1978 to 1991, and by then, Kiss was a whole different, way less appealing proposition.�Obviously, EVERY Kiss fanatic is absolutely gonna NEED this (and at least a few of us here would count ourselves as such), but only the truly diehard (and dare we say, ummm... misguided) will make it all the way to disc 3, as that's the way later stuff, but up until then it's a total blast. It's probably best to just give a run down of all the amazing stuff included, beginning with: 1979's Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park!�Worth the price of admission alone for this legendary made for TV movie, presented here, on dvd for the first time, with the slightly altered title (not sure why) of Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms. Maybe the altered title is due to the fact that it now includes additional and alternate Kiss concert footage as well as music from the various members' solo albums. Huh? But who cares?! What a prime slice of killer hard rock history. Filmed at Magic Mountain in Valencia California, the band take on a mad inventor who has created a legion of robotic phantoms who kidnap patrons of the park with the ultimate goal of destroying Kiss or stealing their secret amulets or something. Most notable for the fact that this was the first time most of us had ever seen Kiss -not- rocking on stage, sitting, talking, and hanging out and hamming it up BIG TIME. We get to hear Ace�Frehley's maniacal laugh, observe Paul Stanley's queen-y swish, and Gene Simmons barely speaks at all, mostly delivering his lines in an overdubbed monster roar/growl. But the band look amazing, and are goofy and funny and engaging, the live performances are killer. Made us feel like we were 9 years old again... Also on the first disc, the band are interviewed by a very grumpy Edwin Newman on the short lived show Land Of Hype And Glory, with some cool interviews and some amazing live footage. And then disc one finishes off with a bang, featuring an excerpt of the band on The Tomorrow Show with Tom Snyder. It's a crime that it's only an excerpt. Super funny and animated, Ace�Frehley is on fire (and seriously wasted) cackling like a madman, sparring with Snyder, the whole band collapsing into uproarious laughter every few minutes, in jokes and barbs flying every which way, so casual and relaxed and super fun, they break for commercial and never come back... arrrghhh!!! Hopefully the rest will be included in a future Snyder/Tomorrow Show dvd release. Disc two starts off pretty rough, with the music video for "Shandi" from 1980, remember that song? Neither do we. But it's brutal, Night Ranger ballady pap, with the super cheesy eighties style video, bad, but still kinda fun. Next up a CNN interview with Peter Criss after leaving the band, And for some reason, he keeps his face hidden the whole time, as he discusses his future plans and� his frustrations after writing a number one smash for Kiss ("Beth"). Then some amazing outtakes as the band attempt to film a promo for their upcoming trip to Australia, and to introduce new drummer Eric Carr. The band blow take after take, mainly because Frehley seems to be utterly wasted. Pretty funny stuff though. After that some killer footage of Kiss live on German TV doing two more random songs ("She's So European" and "Talk To Me") and then an amazing documentary about the band's first trip down under. Streets mobbed with Aussie youths in full Kiss makeup, and much like in the first volume, various public officials greeting the band with open arms. The rest of the disc is mostly live stuff, a long set in Australia in 1980, lots of hits, including the band doing some of our favorite tracks from Ace's solo record (the only truly great solo record of the four).� Then a real treat (well, sort of) for the truly obsessed. A three song live performance of tracks form Kiss's concept record The Elder!!! The band have really short hair, and the songs are bizarre and proggy, but The Elder truly is weirdly cool for being one of the most hated Kiss discs. Finally, the band kick ass on a killer lip synched version of one of their better later songs "I Love It Loud", featuring new guitarist Vinnie Vincent. Disc three is the weak link, but there are still some moments worth checking out. Mostly live footage, the best of it being the band performing in front of a huge crowd in Rio, doing some old Kiss classics, cuz up next is the legendary MTV special where the band were shown without makeup for the very first time. Hosted by MTV veejay J.J. Jackson, the show begins by showing awesome glamor shots of each member in full makeup, then dissolving to the haggard pasty makeupless dudes -behind- the masks. I remember even back in the day it being fairly anticlimactic. But seeing it again immediately transported us back to the living room of our childhood homes, Cheetos in one hand, coke in the other, DYING to find out what Kiss REALLY LOOKED LIKE. The rest of the disc is mostly live stuff, some pretty good, the band sans makeup, some awesome moments, the giant tank drum riser, some problematically glam costumes, and some really bad songs. There's a brief clip of the MTV news segment where it was announced that drummer Eric Carr had died from cancer at the age of 41. Still really sad. And it finishes off with the video for maybe one of the cheesiest Kiss songs ever, "God Gave Rock And Roll To You".... Beautifully packaged as before, massive multi panel fold out dvd digipak style cover, with killer photos, a reproduction of a ticket to see Kiss And The Phantom Of The Park, a bonus dvd featuring Kiss live at Budokan in Japan on the Crazy Nights tour (of interest only to the most fanatic of the Kiss Army, like our friend Josh maybe...) and a huge booklet, with liner notes, and photos, and anecdotes regarding each segment, including our favorite, a bit about Eric Carr's original makeup before he became the Fox, when he was some sort of bird, with a ruffled feathered jumpsuit, padded in the front like a penguin and a yellow beak painted on his face! Wish there were photos of that.� According to the booklet, volume three is coming soon, which would cover 1992 and beyond it would seem, although it's hard to imagine that being very interesting, but at least they could include footage from 11 farewell tours, and 5 or 6 last-tours-ever as well as 3 more unmaskings and 2 re-make-upings... but whatever, this volume and the first are absolutely well worth owning.� Now we're gonna go make some popcorn, and watch Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park for about the millionth time....

Hopefully there's a bunch of you out there (at least 2 or 3), who have been eagerly waiting to read this Aquarius New Arrivals list mainly to find out which old KISS album Allan's gonna gush about now... Last list, it was Destroyer. A classic. And before that, I talked up Dynasty and Music From The Elder, two rather more problematic yet still cool Kiss releases. This time, as you're already aware, I'm writing about 1977's Love Gun. Their 7th album overall. Released more or less in the midst of their pop culture superstardom (comic books, lunch pails, TV movies, platinum-shipping albums, record breaking concert attendance) it displays both their true rock n' roll charisma, and juvenile cheesiness too. This is entertainment, not high art, y'know? And furthermore, the thing is, despite Love Gun's Frank Frazetta styled cover painting, Kiss wasn't ever really a "heavy metal" band. They dabbled, and certainly had a hand in forging some of the tropes of the genre (corpsepaint, perhaps?), but first and foremost, Kiss was a moneymaking pop group on the hard rock side of things. So, while they DO have some heavy faves in their songbook, like ferinstance Love Gun's title track (which sounds a lot like W.A.S.P. later on, Blackie Lawless owing something to Paul Stanley in the vocal dep't.) you have to appreciate 'em for being, ultimately, a pop group, looking for hits how ever they could find 'em. And yet always, keeping it Kiss. Which means, sometimes corny, always catchy. Uptempo opener "I Stole Your Love", shrieked by Paul Stanley, has an underlying high-energy urgency that maybe for a moment could remind one of the MC5 (Kiss must have been fans, cf. "Detroit Rock City"). Up next, "Christine Sixteen" is a bubblegum jailbait fantasy, the sort of subject matter that they leeringly specialize in so often. It's a Gene Simmons tune, as is the following one, "I Got Love For Sale" (hey, that's convenient, since mine just got stolen... hey wait a second). The album's first real surprise comes next, with the raw, rockin' "Shock Me", a number written and sung by Ace Frehley (actually the first ever time the guitarist did lead vocals on a Kiss album), his amateur-hour vox getting over on cheeky chutzpah alone - when he sings "Put on your black leather" you've gotta smile. Next, two Stanley tracks back to back, "Tomorrow and Tonight" and the aforementioned "Love Gun". Then drummer Peter "Beth" Criss, gets a tune in too, "Hooligan", this time neither a ballad nor a hit. Following that, there's two more from Simmons. "Almost Human" is a heavy groover that could only be sung so convincingly, with (extra-length) tongue-in-cheek, by someone of his demonic appearance and persona. And "Plaster Caster" finds Gene singing about what he knows best, groupies... Finally, "Then She Kissed Me" wraps things up with Paul Stanley at his campiest, doing a swoonsome cover of an old Phil Spector girl group tune (originally titled "Then He Kissed Me" when sung by The Crystals). Cheesy, but charming. And again, not altogether metal... Kiss definitely delivers here, Love Gun firing many more hits than misses, nothing getting in the way of the (mostly) hard rock, (always) pop product. Keep It Simple Stupid apparently as much their motto as is alternate apocryphal acronym explanation Knights In Satan's Service.

MPEG stream: I Stole Your Love
MPEG stream: Shock Me
MPEG stream: Almost Human

I (Allan) have been going through a bit of a Kiss phase lately, as you already know if you saw my write-up of Dynasty last list. In that review, I said we needed more Kiss records on our website and I'd be trying to review a Kiss klassic every few weeks, as long as I continue on my current Kiss kick... I also suggested (threatened?) that the next one I'd review would be Music From The Elder, one of the least-popular Kiss albums ever. They didn't even tour for it. But it's also one of the strangest Kiss albums ever, and thus makes a perfect subject for review on the AQ site. It's also, I just found out, one of Andee's faves. So, here we go... I'd been warily curious about this oddball album for a long time before finally picking it up. Why? Well, 'cause 1981's Music From The Elder was Kiss's misguided attempt at prog. That's right, Kiss doing a concept (koncept?) album! Or an imaginary soundtrack. That sort of thing. It was either Gene Simmons' or producer Bob Ezrin's brilliant idea, with Paul Stanley all for it too, though apparently Ace Frehley wasn't that into it (new drummer Eric Carr didn't get a vote). Commercially speaking, they should have listened to Ace, as The Elder stiffed sales-wise. And it's doubtful that The Elder earned Kiss any critical respect, either, though that's probably what they were hoping would happen. To be taken seriously as musicians... though why a band essentially famous for wearing clown makeup thought that would ever happen is of course a mystery! As you might expect, plenty of The Elder is pretentious, with soundtracky, synthy orchestrated interludes, and a narrative that's on the murky side. Something about a immortal order of do-gooders finding and training a boy to become a champion against encroaching evil? There's a table and a rose and an odyssey and a character named Morpheus and some other stuff too. However, despite all that dodginess, it's also got some worthy songs on it that have been unfairly underrated and overlooked in the Kiss canon. Several of them, strangely enough, co-written by none other than Lou Reed! Fact. Though they don't sound much like The Velvet Underground... It also includes one of Kiss's most medieval, metallic tracks up to that point in time, the galloping glory that is "The Oath". Paul Stanley breaks out the falsetto for that one, and it's simultaneously flowery and kick-ass. Kiss sounds a bit like fellow New Yorkers Manowar here, and maybe were responding to the rise of the NWOBHM. Elsewhere, they're more like Styx, doing the pomp rock thing pretty well on such mellower, melodic cuts as "Only You", "Under The Rose", and the gentle lament "A World Without Heroes". I can see how fans would have found some of this even less acceptably Kiss-like than the disco-inflected Dynasty... but these tracks are growers. Gene's plodding groover "Mr. Blackwell" (written with Reed) is another highlight. I'd love to hear the Melvins cover this one, I can practically hear it in my imagination. Meanwhile, Ace fans will be happy to hear from the Spaceman on the jaunty-sounding yet lyrically doomy "Dark Light" (wherein, despite his misgivings about this whole Elder idea, he contributes both his charmingly unpolished vocal stylings as well as some speedy guitar soling). The other track for which Ace gets a writing credit, "Escape From The Island" (what island?), is a crunching instrumental notable for his guitar solo as well. And last but not least, album-ender "I" is definitely a decent Kiss anthem, uplifting & chest-beating ("I believe in me/I believe is something more than you can understand/Yes I believe in me"), with a cinematic voiceover dropped in to tie it to the "story line" of The Elder. So, this is the album to get if you want to hear Kiss doing something a bit different. True, not many people did, but that doesn't mean it was all bad; in fact, it's much better than I expected. I've been spinning this quite a bit, actually. Consider it a contrarian cult classic. Its very failure as "Kiss product" really makes it all the more affecting emotionally, humanizing this oft-cartoony band somehow. And it's not like you've heard these songs a million times before, either. Hmmm... if I know AQ customers, chances are good that this will turn out to be our best selling Kiss title, by virtue of its very unpopularity everywhere else! But, next time, I'll review something with actual hits on it, something less unusual/more essential, for those of you who don't have ANY Kiss in your kollection...

MPEG stream: The Oath
MPEG stream: Mr. Blackwell
MPEG stream: Only You

We can't really think of anything that more symbolizes our musical generation than the four Kiss solo records released way back in 1978. Well, okay, maybe if we tried we could think of a few things, BUT C'MON!!! KISS!!! ACE, PAUL, GENE and PETER!! Sure bands do solo records all the time. But it was never more of a production than when the biggest band in the world decided to simultaneously release 4 solo records, each adorned with a killer airbrushed painting of the artist, in full Kiss makeup and backlit with different colors. This was a huge deal when it happened, and while the records didn't sell nearly as well as the worst selling Kiss record, they still became instantly iconic and most folks we know, owned 'em, and listened to 'em and many of those same folks hung the covers on their walls!! Hell, even sludge masters the Melvins did their own version, even going so far as to emulate the original cheesy cover paintings. But now they are available as PICTURE DISCS!!! Holy shit!!! If there was ever a set of records more ripe for picture disc immortalization we sure as shit can't think of any. So the real question is which one to buy. C'mon. As if there was any other answer, ALL OF THEM. Seriously, what kind of doofus would only want one. They are a set. One at a time is okay, but you are gonna NEED all four. They have been on the wall at Aquarius facing the counter since they were released and they look SOOOO badass all in a row. Worth building a little Kiss shelf in your bedroom just to display these beauties for sure! Paul's record sounded the most like a straight up Kiss record since he was the principal songwriter anyway. While it lacked the spark of a lot of the Kiss material it was still pretty decent. Hard rocking and catchy. Also featured legendary drummer Carmine Appice (Vanilla Fudge, Cactus, Rod Stewart, King Kobra, Blue Murder!) on the skins! But who cares? You know you need all four!

We can't really think of anything that more symbolizes our musical generation than the four Kiss solo records released way back in 1978. Well, okay, maybe if we tried we could think of a few things, BUT C'MON!!! KISS!!! ACE, PAUL, GENE and PETER!! Sure bands do solo records all the time. But it was never more of a production than when the biggest band in the world decided to simultaneously release 4 solo records, each adorned with a killer airbrushed painting of the artist, in full Kiss makeup and backlit with different colors. This was a huge deal when it happened, and while the records didn't sell nearly as well as the worst selling Kiss record, they still became instantly iconic and most folks we know, owned 'em, and listened to 'em and many of those same folks hung the covers on their walls!! Hell, even sludge masters the Melvins did their own version, even going so far as to emulate the original cheesy cover paintings. But now they are available as PICTURE DISCS!!! Holy shit!!! If there was ever a set of records more ripe for picture disc immortalization we sure as shit can't think of any. So the real question is which one to buy. C'mon. As if there was any other answer, ALL OF THEM. Seriously, what kind of doofus would only want one. They are a set. One at a time is okay, but you are gonna NEED all four. They have been on the wall at Aquarius facing the counter since they were released and they look SOOOO badass all in a row. Worth building a little Kiss shelf in your bedroom just to display these beauties for sure! Peter's record was considered by pretty much everybody to be the worst of the bunch. Some of us tried extra hard to like it, cuz, c'mon he was the DRUMMER. Of Kiss!!!! Peter leaned more toward the ballad end of the spectrum which should have boded well since most of his Kiss contributions were ballads, and were also some of the band's biggest hits! But his solo record, even in the ballad department tended to be a bit, well, weak. There are definite moments. And there might have been a minor hit or two, but mostly this disc exists to complete the set. And who cares anyway? You know you need all four!

All right, gonna wrap up the Kiss reviewing, for a little while anyway. Talkin' this week about not one, but THREE Kiss classics: Hotter Than Hell (1974), Dressed To Kill (1975), and Rock And Roll Over (1976). With these three reviewed, that means we will have covered all the Kiss studio albums up through 1981's Music From The Elder, except the universally loathed Unmasked... which might be for the best. (Crucial albums Alive I and II also remain to be reviewed.) I don't mean to give any of these three short shrift by doing 'em briefly all together, it's just that lengthy reviews might not really be necessary. So, to begin: Hotter Than Hell, Kiss's second album, followed up their self-titled debut with another strong collection of songs, perhaps chief among them the heavy headbanging groove of Ace's "Parasite" (later covered by Anthrax) and the majestic lecherous lament of Gene's "Goin' Blind" (later covered by the Melvins). Meanwhile, tracks like "Let Me Go, Rock And Roll", "All The Way", and the title track are ones to crank come party-time. Actually the whole record is pretty much a rockin', rollin' barn-burner, aside from the aforementioned dirgey "Goin' Blind", and also album-ender "Strange Ways", whose lyrics and metallic plod have a sinister vibe that could weird out some partygoers. Cool though! Really, nothin' in they way of weak ones here, though maybe Paul's opener "Got To Choose" will be a bit too Bad Company sounding for some. Hotter Than Hell is an accurate album title I've gotta say, though it's too bad it didn't get the production job it deserved. Next up, Kiss platter number 3, Dressed To Kill. There's a bunch of fairly poppy, finger snapping, boot-stomping hard rockers on here, Kiss again (almost) reminding us of the MC5 circa Back In The USA on opener "Room Service"... The immortal hits from this album include the Stonesy "C'mon And Love Me", mission statement "Rock And Roll All Night" (which you've probably heard a few million times too many), and "She", which lumbers a heckuva lot like BoC's "Godzilla". They go all flowery and acoustic for the first half of one song, but snap out of it in time to kick some ass ("Rock Bottom"). Incipient self-parody may be noticeable here, with groupie-themed lyrics and rock n' roll anthems making soon-to-be predictable appearances, but that's ok, some of my favorite Kiss albums later on are ALL self-parody and none the worse for it. And then we skip ahead ('cause I've already reviewed the intervening Destroyer) to Rock And Roll Over, which fits in between the big D and Love Gun as their 5th studio album. This one starts off with one of my very favorite Kiss songs EVER, "I Want You", with its deceptively pretty n' sweet melodic intro immediately bursting into godlike amps-on-11, chest-thumping heavy metal riff rock that's about as catchy as it gets. Lyrically, it's the lustful essence of Kiss. But is Paul singing romantically about a longtime love, or rather more sleazily about the blonde in the third row, center, who just caught his eye? Probably the latter. Gene's "Calling Dr. Love" was another hit here, and definitely meant for that blonde... in fact, not just her, but all the willing ladies in the audience, no doubt! What else? Peter sings an acoustic ballady number that's not too bad, "Hard Luck Woman", likely intended as this album's "Beth" (the sensitive, surprise hit he had on Destroyer, though this time, Paul wrote the song). Otherwise, not too much to say. "Take Me", "Love 'Em And Leave 'Em", "Makin' Love", "Mr. Speed", etc., it's all decent enuff Kiss stuff but nothing really stands out for me. Well, dumbest one "Ladies Room" maybe stands out, but not in a good way. But, dumb or not, Kiss knows what they're doing, and you'll be singing along to lots of Rock And Roll Over before it's over. And besides, it's got "I Want You"! Ok, with these three albums, maybe that's all the Kiss we'll be reviewing for a while. Whew! But I'll start another series of reviews of another overlooked (by AQ) band, next time...

MPEG stream: I Want You
MPEG stream: Take Me

"Whooohoooo, yeah!" Allan's kavalcade of Kiss reviews kontinues. Here's maybe where I should have started, which is where Kiss started, with their 1974 self-titled debut... at the time, record buyers who weren't already hip to the styles of the NYC glam scene were probably puzzled when they saw this album's cover. Why were these guys wearing that stupid makeup? Turns out Kiss were cleverer than people thought. From the get-go, they were aiming to be the "biggest band in the land", with this album being an important first step along the way, and then some. There's ten tracks here. And y'know what? We bet in 2023, on their umpteenhundreth reunion tour, a blind, geriatric Kiss will still be playing a bunch of them. Likewise, any Kiss "best of" would have trouble not including, like, half this album. "Firehouse", "Cold Gin" (written by happy alky Ace of course), "Strutter", "Deuce", "Black Diamond", "Firehouse", "100,000 Years".... killer Kiss classics all of 'em. Harvey Milk covered "Deuce", you may recall, on Live Pleaser, and Kiss was definitely an influence on The Pleaser itself. Meanwhile, the Melvins too are of course mega Kiss fans, and already on this album you can hear some parallels: the slower and slower, lower and lower outro to "Black Diamond" could be them, and even the brief bouncy instrumental "Love Theme From Kiss" has a Melvins-y hook, though they'd play it considerably heavier. But forget about Harvey Milk and the Melvins, ever consider Kiss's parallels with their heroes, the Beatles? A four piece band, the two main songwriters and vocalists on bass and rhythm guitar, but everyone (eventually even the drummer) writing -and- singing songs. And they all sang backup, with vocal harmonies and all. And take a look at the album cover again - looks a little bit like Meet The Beatles, which was apparently their intent. Of course, Kiss weren't the Beatles, so if they were gonna become the biggest band in the land (which they pretty much did, for a while) they had to make up the difference, with, well, makeup - and a loud n' proud stage show, pure glammy spectacle unmatched by any other band. And they got in on the ground floor of the up and coming heavy metal genre. Though Kiss can't be considered as a heavy metal band entirely... maybe the first pop, bubblegum metal band? They certainly weren't as heavy or serious as Black Sabbath. They rocked, all right, but on this album sounded more like Grand Funk Railroad, Aerosmith, or the James Gang (check out "Firehouse", Ace busts out some Joe Walsh sounding guitar licks on that one fer sure). Elsewhere on this debut, they hark back to rollicking '50s rock ("Nothing To Loose" and goofy cover "Kissin' Time", the latter of which also reminds us of the Beach Boys, it's sorta Kiss's "Surfin' USA"). Which is kool too, but they coulda left the latter off and it wouldn't have hurt the album any. All in all, a fine debut, standing the test of time as one of their best albums, full of some of their rawest rockers - and thus good place to start, if you haven't already! Ok, so this is my fifth Kiss review in this series, and eventually the lesson of these reviews should be... you want 'em all. Maybe I'll stop after a half-dozen Kiss reviews and turn to essentials from other classic bands we haven't given enough attention to, like maybe Queen or Thin Lizzy or Uriah Heep...

MPEG stream: Deuce
MPEG stream: 100,000 Years

You know you want it. THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE WORLD!! Well, er...anyway, it's KISS monopoly, how cool is that? As much as it pains us to give any more money to the Kiss business concern, this game is pretty awesome. Instead of little metal cars and boots, you get Gene's bass, Gene's boot, a bag of money (obviously), Paul's Kiss fireman's hat, the Kiss Army logo, and a guitar (hard to tell if it's Paul's or Ace's). And the board is totally redone too with the railroads replaced by the four solo albums (although Music From The Elder is conspicuously absent), the jail space is replaced by the SOLD OUT SHOW: Standing In Line space and the "properties" are all albums and singles and action figures and of course the pinball machine. Then the cards are things like breaking a string on Starchild's guitar, getting singed by Gene's firebreathing, winning second place in a Girls Of Kiss beauty pageant and of course getting inducted into the Kiss Army. Not sure how fun it is to actually play (we haven't cracked one open yet), but boy will this make your dusty old game shelf a whole lot cooler!

Kicks ass is more like it! Super catchy high energy hard pop. This is their third record, from 1985 and is the perfect blend of Cheap Trick's pop hooks and AC/DC's heavy groove. Allan and Andee both love this band. In fact, if you buy this record and love it, we will have no problem ordering you their other three records, all amazing. Oh yeah, Allan wants me to make sure you realize we aren't joking. Because we aren't.

Look, people, we really weren't kidding about how much we (Andee and Allan to be precise) love Kix! The response to our listing of their Midnite Dynamite on the last AQ-list was less-than-overwhelming (although Brian at WFMU did email to let us know that his covers band does a Kix song--way to go Brian!), so we're trying again. This is Kix's first album, from 1981, and it is also quite representative of their blend of Cheap Trick and AC/DC (no Def Leppard-ish ballads to be found on this one, although they're good at those too). Someone, anyone, take a chance, take our word on it and order one. A great hard pop record with even some new-wavish moments (it being 1981 and all). Don't you wanna rock? C'mon!

[ aquarius records — Metal ]